
Confessions and observations of an American girl in Paris. Or…after years of trying to keep my mouth shut and failing, I am now proclaiming loudly. Or…how to spend years trying to hide your slutfulness. Or…just a normal girl talking about normal stuff (liar).

I am a jack-ess of all trades. The only thing that isn’t on my resume is dog grooming. I spent 39 lifetimes launching new products in corporate America. Rarely with products I would enjoy, like The Hooker How-To Book or Never-Smell Undies or Maslov’s Drooling Dog Theory for Men. No. Instead, I launched printed circuit board design software and double-knit sans-a-belt insurance agent marketing software into the universe. Where it died the inevitable death of nobody-gives-a-shitness. Now, I focus all my energy on revealing the dark and festering stories of my past, while hopefully getting some voice-over, on-camera or paid writing gigs on the side.

I was about to burst. I had a plethora of essays swimming around in my head. I needed to express myself. I had always said, “I wanna be a writer.” But I never just sat down and wrote. I had been pretending to be “nice” – at work, with my family. Whatever the definition of “nice” was at the time. I would suss it out and try to be just that. It never worked. My blog is a mid-life coming-of-age story.

I started this blog in March of 2006. So, only six months. I’m not sure why that surprises me.

Probably on average, I get about 25-30 hits per day. I have about 28 email and RSS subscribers as well.

Not much of an income yet. It hasn’t been a big focus of mine, but I wouldn’t turn money away. I’m more interested in attracting an online or print columnist gig. But I have dabbled with PayPerPost and Blogsvertise. In total, I’ve made about $45 from them in a month’s time. I know of other bloggers who do about $5K per month doing embedded advertisement blogging. But I always feel slimy when I do an ad post. I try to make them snarky and funny and a little bit shocking so that if I must force my readers to slog through an ad, at least they’ll be entertained and learn something. I just removed my Amazon and Google ads from my sidebar. Nobody looks at those things. I put up a Donate Via PayPal button recently. So if someone likes what they read, they can throw me some Brie and Cote du Rhone money. Haven’t received any of that yet, but I continue to eat Brie and drink Cote du Rhone.
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Women, or people in general, who long to be themselves, without apology. People who are a bit “off.” Comedians, lap ‘n pole dancers, torch singers, lesbians (lots of lesbians), flight attendants (these are people who have had more sex than me) and firemen. Not many people in my family, though. People who wish they could escape the drudgery of corporate America. People who wish they could take risks, the ones who say, “When the kids grow up I will…when I retire I will…when my parents die I will…” People who want to know all about the interesting things one finds on the sidewalks of Paris. Reformed degenerates and drug smugglers. Shall I go on?

From dawn ’til midnight. Every day. I am not kidding. If I go out to shop, or have a drink, or meet people for dinner, or listen to music, I have my IPAQ phone with me and I take tons of notes and pictures. They all turn into blog posts eventually.

You will be able to say, “Did she just say what I think she just said?” You will laugh. You will feel more human. You will believe that there is hope for all of us. Most importantly, you will begin to be inappropriate yourself. And the world will be a better place because of it.

Delight in your own voice. It’s the only one you have. Don’t compare yourself to others. As somebody wise once said, “Comparisons are odious.” Just start writing. Over time, your voice will emerge. You have control over when you publish or delete a post. Seek out other bloggers. You will make amazing new friends worldwide. Be gracious and read other blogs and make meaningful comments in them. Encourage other writers. They have fears and insecurities too. Be honest. People can smell crap a mile away. Do NOT focus on traffic statistics. Just like in real life, you create relationships one person at a time. And if you speak in a true voice, and join communities of like-minded people, you will attract the kind of loyal “sticky” traffic that is the envy of corporate marketers.
This blog can be visited at http://omywordblog.blogspot.com
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This blog is written by a BRILLIANT and HILARIOUS women.
They are not too many people to come along in the blog-0-sville quite like her.
THIS blog… is WORTHY of reading. You will learn something … AND….laugh your ass off.
Thanks so much Meleah. You’re darn funny yerself. And lovely.
Hi there,
YOUUUU are one funny gal. Witty and frank truly a cosmopolitan person. And I am embarassed to admit — I envy you are in France and I am here in a 3rd world a.k.a. “developing country”.
Aaaarrgg!!! Gasp!!!
Ah…and Malu, I kind of long for the exotica of your country. It’s like girls with curly hair envy girls with straight hair and girls with straight hair envy girls with curly hair. (Frankly, I don’t want to know what boys envy) So we’ll do an apartment swap. As soon as I have one that is actually mine.
I read your blog and I wish you the best. The documentation of your health process helps other people who may have the same challenges feel less alone. Thanks for reading my interview and for the compliments.
WE LOVE LISA! and look forward to reading her blog EVERY day. Lisa is one smart, funny & verrrry creative gal! Olga hopes to pay Lisa a visit in France someday (hint hint)…she thinks they’d make an awesome pair.
My dear Shawn and Olga: I am proud to be loved by a black lace bra. The ones I used to get at the WOW Mart are red with black lace. So I feel like a saloon girl. Like I should be dancing in front of an out-of-tune piano until I can lure somebody up some rickety steps for a quickie and a fiver. Pure black lace is much more rich, elegant, mysterious, expensive. Girls who wear black lace bras drink champaign and have sex in limos and the George V hotel versus in the back of a taxi or a rent-by-the-hour no-tell motel. Sigh. Please DO visit me in Paris, so I can upgrade my life experience.
OK – oui will!
Hi there,
Today is Oct 7, my country’s time. Just stopped by to vote for you.
Cheers!
when I need a laugh and it’s often…I read this blog. Thanks for sharing your adventures!
Lotusflower and WritingNag – you guys are the best. Thanks for your votes!
Wonderful, just wonderful! This blog is funny, entertaining and very well written.
Professional and engaging all the way.
Don – thanks so much for your lovely compliments. I try, in every way, always to be professional. (Mostly, I fail)
Yes, I think you are very professional and a modest one at that!
There you go. Just voted for you.
Cheers!
VOTE VOTE VOTE! This is truly one of the bestest blogs around – especially if you are a fan of laughing uncontrollably. And by uncontrollably, I mean, investing in some adult diapers is probably a good idea. Reading Lisa’s posts without them is not advised.
A writing style that puts you RIGHT THERE beside her, Lisa’s posts manage to be humorous and often touching all at the same time. Not an easy thing to accomplish. But she does it easily and routinely.
One of my favorites and a daily must read!
Lotusflower – thanks so much! I just went to your blog and felt warmth flow into my heart. I hope you are doing well because you certainly made me feel good. Thanks again.
Heather – what can I say. You are my pal that I haven’t met yet, and at the same time, someone I very much ,admire as a writer and a human being. So your compliments make me very happy. May we clink some glasses this spring in Paris!
Hi Lisa,
How are you? I hope you are having a great time as always.
Merry Christmas to you and your loved one.
Cheers!
This is a wild and crazy gal who is alot of fun and you will enjoy visiting her blog by no means will you be bored. Thumbs up on this one. Come on guy and gals give OMYWORD your votes.
Lisa, I just happened on your blog, and so enjoyed your interview–thanks for the inspiration and advice!!! I look forward to reading more…. J
Janice – thanks so much! I’ll go and check out your blog now.
Lisa,
WOW Thanks!! Its so awesome you took the time the check out my blog, your comments were a thrill to read-you’re quite a spirit over there ! I’ve GOT to email you about this jewelry guy who dumped you on Valentines day- WTF??? It figures on the day I want to blog it up I’ve got to be running like a mad woman–but I will definitely catch ya soon- can’t wait to take in more Omyword blog! Ciao for now, J
Just stop by to say that I liked your blog.
Cheers
Hi You did a great job with this blog. I loved Omyword- Lisa Wines
I came across this interview and now I must comment because I am a sheep and though I’ve nothing of consequence to say, I feel I must say SOMETHING! I did vote for you…I think that’s what that was anyway when I clicked something, I’m not sure. Still, I love your writing and your voice and I’m going back for more…