I’m Guatemalan. It turns out that not many people can name a Guatemalan they know. Guatemala is a growing country. In size, we’re even bigger than Iceland. Cuba has us beat, but they’re a bunch of communists, so who cares. But Iceland, we dominate Iceland. Anyway, the blog is about me, a Guatemalan 20-something, trying to figure out his way in a world where people don’t know that Guatemala is bigger than Iceland. My friends and family also make up a pretty large part of my blog. Miguel, mi best amigo, is probably the favorite. He knows this and reminds me daily. Seriously though, I’m really annoyed that Cuba is bigger than Guatemala. We’re growing though.

I have a Guatemalan mustache. It’s seriously one of the greatest mustaches I’ve ever had the pleasure of looking at in my life. Because of its alluring qualities, people usually tend to give me money and random jobs. I’ve never collected unemployment. I’ve waited tables. Worked in copy stores. Did some construction. Mainly, I’m a guapo Guatemalan with a mustache. Does that count? Can I be guapo for a living?

I noticed the lack of quality Guatemalan bloggers and wanted to fill the void. I was tired of Argentine propaganda and wanted to shine some light on the atrocities caused by their soccer team. Their wine isn’t even any good, but everyone is always talking about it. In Guatemala, we use Argentine wine to get stains out of pans. That’s all it’s good for.

December 21, 2005.

I have no idea. I used to keep track. All I know is that I’m huge in Malaysia. They have a very keen idea about Guatemalans there. Very keen.

No. I never really started writing to make money. I like that I can make people laugh and think by reading the random happenings of mi vida. If I ever did get an income from this blogging, I’d probably give a lot of it to the DC public schools. They’re seriously the worst in the United States.

Anyone who likes to laugh. I can’t always be funny, though. Like the one time my place was robbed. If any of the thieves are reading this, I’d like them to know that I WILL find you. Seriously, who takes a man’s flan and leaves the empty package on the counter?

I have no idea. I live in the ghetto of DC. This usually gives me endless stories to tell. That, and my friends and family are walking stories. I would write all day if I could.

Actually, with my blog, you don’t even have to subscribe. It’s free. Turns out the Internet is free too and you don’t have to pay for each e-mail you send. Which kind of annoys me because this guy, Big Tito, ripped off my friend Miguel for years.

I have no idea how to answer this question. Just try to think of how England defeated Argentina in the Falkland wars. Try to have that spirit and everything you do will end in success.

This blog can be visited at http://elguapodc.blogspot.com/

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